Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Cautiously Hopeful

I have started to see a very, very tiny light at the end of this dark tunnel. I am having more good days than bad. I have even lost some of the weight I gained recently. I am becoming cautiously hopeful that I am on the right path to recovery and "normalcy", whatever that is. I still get a little grumpy and irritable some days, but maybe THAT is normal? Who knows? I used to know my body. I was knowledgeable about what was really me and what was a symptom. Then I blamed every...single...negative... issue on my thyroid. Now, I just don't know. But I do see a very tiny flicker in the darkness. I can't tell how far away it is, but the road doesn't seem quite as scary as it used to. Below is a picture of my incision at week 11 post-op. Doesn't look much different really. I still have the irritated dry skin underneath. The funny thing about all of this is that I don't mind it most times. I usually wear it like a badge of courage   reason. I hope that it explains my sometimes erratic behaviour, my weight gain, my mood swings, and the other underlying problems. Yep, I usually like to show it. Crazy, huh?

6 comments:

Cetta said...

I just wanted to thank you for writing about it. I am struggling right now - I have just been diagnosed with a low TSH .. hyperthyroidism and am waiting to see an endo. What a nightmare this little gland is.

Sharper said...

Hi Pattie!

I found you through Dear Thyroid. Just read your Dear Thyroid letter and it was really touching. I've had some days like that so I really understand. I'm glad you are starting to feel better and I'm hoping you will be back to yourself again.

I have my thyroid but its really hypo (My TSH was at 28 when I was diagnosed 5 years ago) and I have recently been diagnosed with adrenal fatigue. I've been switched to Armour a week ago and I beleive it helps me more than the Synthroid I had been on for 5 years.

My blog is http://sharper43.blogspot.com

Courtney Walsh said...

Pattie,

I also found your blog through Dear Thyroid, and I just wanted to send you a note of encouragement. You're not alone. I have felt for 2.5 years that I am going crazy, felt like a failure and have really been struggling to convince anyone that something might actually be wrong with me.

Finally, finally, I have seen a little light at the end of my tunnel. Thursday I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease (further tests coming to determine exactly what has been going on... but I now know my issue is not my thyroid, but the immune system that's attacking my thyroid...) I feel so much hope for the first time in years.

I will say a prayer that this light at the end of your tunnel gets bigger and bigger!! Good luck! :)

Pattiecake said...

Thank you all, my new Thyfriends, for you support and encouragement. It is very healing to share my feelings.

Gwen Miles said...

"Bovine is a great product with no side effects at all, unlike others out there. .
I really recommend this product since it really does its job. "

Pattiecake said...

Gwen, do you have any idea on the cost of this vs. snythroid? I am definitely interested.