The Blame Game

I don't know about you, but information to me can sometimes be dangerous. Over the least several years, I have read a lot about Hypothyroidism online. I could tell that some of the sites were not good resources, so I tried to discard that. Hypothyroidism is a chronic disease. Even without a thyroid now, I am still considered hypo. So here are what I know my symptoms are for sure, at least for today. They seem to change frequently:

• Dry skin
• Fatigue
• Difficulty sleeping
• Depression (not always)
• Weight that just won't leave
• Brittle nails
• Brain Fog/Memory Loss
• Irritabilty
• Diffulty regulating body temperature

The Thyroid controls SO many functions of the body, that when things go awry, I always blame it. Some other symptoms that I could have include:

• Weakness
• Increased difficulty losing weight
• Coarse, dry hair
• Dry, rough pale skin
• Hair loss
• Cold intolerance (you can't tolerate cold temperatures like those around you)
• Muscle cramps and frequent muscle aches
• Constipation
• Irritability
• Memory loss
• Abnormal menstrual cycles
• Decreased libido

Can you see why I always blame my thyroid? It's really hard to know if there is something wrong with me. I can almost always chalk up my symptom to the thyroid. I have recently had a lot of pain in my lower back, nearly at my tail bone. At first I just assumed that it was because I was not very mobile in the weeks following my surgery. But then it got worse, much more painful than my surgery. So I finally went and had it checked. It was a pinched ciatic nerve. Apparently this is fairly common for people who have longer surgeries. Mine was nearly five hours. Dr. Arguello did say that they had to "beat me up" during surgery to get all the tumor out. Oh what fun! I get to do some exciting exercises every night. The good news is that I should feel much better in a few weeks. Now I have 2 additional pills to add three times a day to my current pharmacy. I do not know what I would do without quality insurance. I am very blessed with my job and benefits.

The Beginning

In search of information online regarding my thyroid condition I found a few helpful blogs. Reading them was comforting and it felt like I was reading a diary of sorts. I think that perhaps having my own blog might help me get a handle on my emotions and be healing for me. My sister-in-law has a blog and it seems that she is able to process some feelings and share them through her blog. I wonder if anyone will read this? I wonder if anyone cares to hear my rants? Maybe a newly diagnosed patient will want to hear a similar story? I guess it doesn't really matter who reads it, does it? So, off I go:

I was diagnosed as hypothyroid in 2007 just after I got married. Fun time, huh? I went for my usual check up and told my doctor I was tired and had dry skin. During the next 2 years, my levothyroxine dosage was adjusted (increased) about 5 or 6 times. In June of 2009, I felt like my throat was swollen. Was I growing an adam's apple or something? It looked and felt like it to me. So, I made an appointment with my GP. Unfortunately, she didn't think it was swollen, but checked my TSH levels and said "oh, you must feel like that because you need another dosage increase." I shouldn't have believed her. I should have trusted my instincts, but what do I know? I never went to medical school- she did!

Well, I had a very busy fall in 2009, so I delayed my checkup until the beginning of January 2010. I went back to my GP and during the physical she looked at my new adam's apple and said "hmm, what is this?" Well, apparently my new lump had grow to a size that she, my oblivious GP, finally noticed it. She ordered an ultrasound and said that she would probably refer me to an endocrinologist once she sees the results. The day after my ultrasound, during which the radiologist also made annoying murmurs, the results were sent to my GP. She said "yep, you have a nodule. I will send your records over to a specialist."

My new endo ordered a biopsy-which much more painful than I expected. I received the biopsy results yesterday (Tuesday, February 9, 2010) that revealed hardly any more information. The tumor/mass/lump/nodule/whatever is solid 3.6 cm follicular neoplasm. Apprently the same cell types that the tyhroid is made up of. So, it could be a group of rogue rebellious thyroid cells or it could be follicular cancer. My next step is to meet with a surgeon (on Monday, Feb 15th) and get my surgery figured out. It really sucks that I won't know if it is cancer until after surgery! At lease things are moving though. It seemed to take FOREVER to get the biopsy scheduled and then wait even longer for the results. Eeeeck, I used to think I was a patient woman. Afterall, I do have 4 boys!

So this is where I am. I am trying to plan out my next few weeks and any other life adjustments I need to make. I decided to withdrawn from college for a little while. I have also now decided that I need to stop volunteering at church for a bit. I think that is all I can cut out myself, I still have my family and work. Now I can let my surgeon cut out half my butterfly. I am thinking about a new tattoo with lots of butterfly's to help with my...er... loss. The thought of that does cheer me up a bit. :)